Holy Grail

when i am paranoid, i become sane

only when i am sober, i become insane

without cannabis only death it is i desire

only when i am high curiosity preoccupies

is that not strange to the senses

yet totally sensible to the awakened mind

so intolerable is the world you want to cry

without self medication you want to scream and die

fault is it of mine

or of a society itself that seeks termination

even though you are divine

still you are the heartache demanding annihilation

enlightenment is not a pleasant holy grail

as much as you are the beauty you are the darkness

searching for means of self extinction

looking to find a way of liberation

but in the end only to disappear and fail

Amidst the haze of paranoia's grip,

I find a certain lucidity, a mental trip.

But when the smoke clears and I'm sober again,

I'm plagued by insanity, by a mind full of pain.

In moments of clarity, I long for death,

But when I'm high, it's curiosity that steals my breath.

It's a strange paradox that makes no sense to the senses,

But to the awakened mind, it's a puzzle that makes no pretenses.

Is it my fault or society's that I seek termination?

As divine as we are, we all crave annihilation.

Enlightenment is not a holy grail to hold and treasure,

For in darkness lies beauty, and in beauty lies horror's measure.

We search for ways to extinguish ourselves,

To find liberation in the void, to transcend the self.

But in the end, we only disappear and fail,

Leaving behind nothing but the echoes of our tale.

The quest for peace is fraught with pain,

A yearning for release from mortal chain.

In states of mind beyond this world we find

A glimpse of truth that soothes the troubled mind.

Yet drugs and potions can only offer

A fleeting respite from our need to suffer.

For in the end, the soul must face

The trials of life, with all its grace.

The path to freedom lies in discipline,

In the taming of our restless mind within.

For though the world may seem a sea of pain,

There is a source of joy that we can gain.

The truth that lies within our heart and soul

Can heal the wounds that life can take its toll.

For in the end, it is the self we find

And in the self, the peace we seek to bind.

So let us not be slaves to fleeting highs,

But seek the truth that lies beyond the skies.

For though the road may be both long and hard,

The reward of freedom is a just reward.

With pen in hand and heart ablaze,

I shall bring forth the final phase,

And weave a tale of life and death,

Of love and loss, and final breath.

Oh, mortal beings, lost in strife,

Obsessed with wealth and fleeting life,

Your minds are clouded by desire,

Your souls consumed by raging fire.

But listen now, and heed my call,

For I shall teach you how to stall

The final hour that fate has set,

And find the truth that you forget.

The answer lies within your heart,

A place of light that shall not part,

From your true nature, pure and bright,

That shines like stars in darkest night.

So let go of your mortal fears,

Embrace the truth that now appears,

For death is but a passing phase,

A door that leads to endless grace.

And in that realm beyond our sight,

The soul shall soar in boundless flight,

And find the peace that it so craves,

In realms beyond our earthly graves.

So take my hand and do not fear,

For I shall guide you ever near,

To that sublime and wondrous state,

Where love and light shall e'er await.

And so I end this final verse,

With words of hope and love immersed,

In your hearts may they forever dwell,

And guide you to eternal swell.