and just like that
i faded completely away
desired to be remembered i never have
for i am the melancholic mystic
despair heavy so heavy
furious anger gives way to empty sorrow
reaping a peace too sharp to reap
igniting the loneliness i'm alone
there is no price only consequence
the mystery of genius
no one can tell you
either you know it and are it
or pretense is put on to fake it
and even a clever imitation is superior
to a cheap tasteless impassionate intelligence
true original wit outclasses all intimations
abandon all comparisons for there is only you
only the only the only
the infinite eternal
the Self from which all selves have source
ephemeral and like a flame in the darkness
appear for a while to fade to fade to fade
these days i feel more alone than i ever have in my life
sometimes i realize how much i enjoy it
other times my distance is as far as far can be
and i can feel myself sinking interminably out of reach
as i always have been but also seems i always will be
are you as distant from me as i am from myself
i am so so far away
everyone is so far far away from me
i don't know what to do
it feels i have failed
failed
failed
